Comments on: Chapter 5: First Contact – part 3

By: allan (BFuniv)

allan (BFuniv) — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 22:43:45 +0000

I like people that act quickly and get to the point. These POV shifts are well demarcated and are working well — so far. I don’t know if they will become endearing or irritating over time.

Keep it coming.

By: daymon

daymon — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 20:45:40 +0000

Ashlynn is a brave little girl. Well let’s see how Shane answers that question.

By: nancy

nancy — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 14:58:33 +0000

Thanks again for the feedback. I’ll keep up the split perspective. Vanessa and I think it’s a lot of fun. We’re glad it’s not confusing.

Shane is misremembering Ashlynn’s name. It’ll bite him in the butt at some point.

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 12:48:39 +0000

Once again, I’m lovin’ the split perspective between Shane/Addison. And how surprising that they all immediately talk about what just happened!

Did you mean to put “Ashley” instead of “Ashlynn” in para. 2? (Like, does he just forget her name and is remembering the wrong one?)